When I really sit here and think about it .. Really ask myself what is it I am destined for.. Or what it is I really want at the end of this life .. It may sound like a sad thing to a woman .. But I sometimes, don't see myself married like every one would hope for, starting a family and taking all my ideas of love and associating it with real life.. No it's not that simple for me in my mind...
Maybe thats why I'm always talking about love.. Cuz I spent so much time in my younger form experiencing it, over and over and over again.. Maybe thats why I can talk about it till my mouth is dry, this thing called love.. Maybe that's why I can talk about sex so much .. Because I spent so much time experiencing it, and experiencing passion and raw intimacy at its best... Because deep down I always believed that I would one day fight for my people... Fight for our children.. I never imagined life with us in it having control and ultimately living this fairytale that America promotes.. That one where as long as you work hard you can obtain anything you want.. I've seen the most honest people work hard and get thrown to the dirt, some even die trying acquire what this country promises ..
I myself have always seen a different thing.. Always felt different about it.. "I've seen myself as a warrior and nothing more since the day that I can remember seeing ... " And I know many like me.. Not the kind of people who write down their wedding plans or who chooses to spend most of their life in college just to get a job they don't even know if their gona like ..Not the type to run to the doctor just for a cold..Not the type to wana be employed by anyone or have a boss...Not the type to have 10 girlfriends or boyfriends by the time your 25 .. We are the people that love aggressively and right away.. We never need to Lable a person cuz we know their worth .. We are never late for anything and can't have anyone making us wait on them because we always feel our time here is limited ... Always kissing always hugging always willing to make love.. Always wana help, always willing to say something meaningful, just incase someone has to remember something you said you want it to have meant something .. Always concerned with the weak and the suffering.. Always looking to them, looking for them .. We are the type of people that dream... Because reality for us is already decided .. But the dreams make each day pleasurable .. The type to wana leave children behind with the irony of not wanting or needing to be loved but to need to love someone.. It's so easy to love your child. Especially when you feel like everyday you need to leave something behind in them that was a direct concept of yourself ... Because you just never know.. This is a warrior.. I just wana fight for my people... And that's all I have for now.. #chrisdread
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