Many many years ago early on in my life I fell for a woman with a child for the first time ... I always felt that I was fully attracted to her, I mean she was a lil older than me and a lil more experienced at the time.. One of those situations where the child's father was gone forever.. He was only about 2/3 years old at the time.. The intimacy I shared with her was owed to my relationship with her son.. I loved this kid.. Bathed him, fed him, put him to bed at night,I hugged him and kissed him everyday..i guess in retrospect I may have loved him more than I did her.. Maybe seeing all my energy and attention focused on him I pushed her out.. I always felt completely designed to be a father, and b4 my daughter I had so much exposure with my nieces and other lil babies that my mom always took in.. I know she loved me, she was proud of me and admired me because of the role I took for her son but sometimes the way she looked at me her eyes said"I know you don't belong to me" ..and I didn't.. We parted ways and she kept me from him...I guess she wanted it all as she so rightfully deserved .. Since then .. I've seen him 3 times.. He's a teenager now and he's all tall.. I didn't even know what to say so I said nothing.. Prolly won't even recognize me...but I look at him with sheer admiration .. She did a great job.. I'm happy for that experience although I lost them both .. Certain things u just don't forget.. Some Love,lives on.. And I just think to all men that has ever loved a child of another man.. It's one of the most, confusing, difficult, frustrating things u can do sometimes... But for me it's always the right thing.. @chrisdread
No comments:
Post a Comment